Celebrations
A short list, written for a week when lists are hard
It is the one kind of event where the person planning it is least able to plan anything, and where the number of decisions is highest.
Quick answer
What has to be decided first for a celebration of life?
Three things: a date with a rough headcount, somewhere that can take you on that date, and whether there will be speaking. Flowers, photograph displays, music and the order of speakers can all be settled in the last few days, and usually should be.
A celebration of life is usually organised in days, by people who are grieving, while relatives arrive from out of town. It is the one kind of event where the person planning it is least able to plan anything, and where the number of decisions is highest.
This is a short list of what has to be settled early, and a shorter list of what does not.
Decide these first
- A date and a rough headcountEverything else follows from these two. A range is enough at first: a hundred, not ninety-four.
- Somewhere to hold itAvailability at short notice matters more than the perfect room. A place that can take you on the day you need is the right place.
- Whether there will be speakingThis changes the layout, the sound and the timing more than any other single choice.
These can wait, and usually should
Flowers, photograph displays, music and the order of speakers can all be decided in the last few days. Families often try to settle them first because they feel more meaningful, and then find themselves without a venue.
The parts worth handing over
Two things come up again and again from families afterwards, and they are the two least emotional parts: the setting up and the clearing away. Arriving to a room that is already ready, and leaving without having to stay behind to pack it down, is what people say made the difference.
Whether you hand that to a planner, a venue, or a group of friends who have volunteered, decide who owns it early and say it out loud. The common failure is everyone assuming someone else has it.
A note on timing
There is no correct interval between a death and a celebration of life. Some families hold it within a week, others wait months so that people can travel. Waiting is not disrespectful, and neither is not waiting. Choose whichever lets the people who need to be there actually be there.
Frequently asked questions
How soon after a death should a celebration of life be held?
There is no correct interval. Some families hold it within a week, others wait months so that people can travel. Waiting is not disrespectful, and neither is not waiting. Choose whichever lets the people who need to be there actually be there.
What is worth handing over to someone else?
The setting up and the clearing away. They are the two least emotional parts, and the two families mention most afterwards: arriving to a room that is already ready, and leaving without having to stay behind to pack it down.
Does it matter whether there will be speaking?
More than any other single choice. Speaking changes the layout, the sound and the timing, so it needs to be settled early even if the speakers themselves are decided later.
The bottom line
Almost nothing here has to be perfect. It has to be decided, by someone, out loud. The common failure is not a bad choice; it is everyone assuming that somebody else has it.
Related reading
Continue reading
- Reading a Venue Before You SignA venue walkthrough is not a tour. It is a survey. Here is the list we run through before anyone signs anything, and the questions that save the most money later.
- Floral Design Without OverspendingFlowers are the line item that moves most between quotes, and the one clients most often feel they overpaid for. Where the money actually goes, and the three choices that change the total.
- What to Ask a Caterer Before You BookPrice per head is the least useful number on a catering quote. These are the questions that tell you what you are actually buying, and where two quotes that look identical are not.
Key takeaways
- A date and a rough headcount come first. A range is enough: a hundred, not ninety-four.
- Availability at short notice matters more than the perfect room.
- Whether there will be speaking changes layout, sound and timing.
- Flowers, photographs and music can wait until the final few days.
- Name one person who owns the set-up and the clear-down, and say it out loud.
Next step
If you would rather not plan this alone
Call us and tell us the date and roughly how many people. We can take the setting up and the clearing away off you entirely.
